


Catman

by ChildOfTheDinosaur2000



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug, The Batman (Cartoon 2004)
Genre: Bruce Wayne is Batman, Bruce Wayne is Not Batman, F/M, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:07:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29201073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChildOfTheDinosaur2000/pseuds/ChildOfTheDinosaur2000
Summary: What if give Miraculous Black Cat Batman?I wanted to write a funny Jen, but it turned out to be a Get!My goal: To make everyone laugh with this work. If I did well put a thumbs up👍👍👍👍👍
Kudos: 3





	Catman

In Gotham City at Christmas, the villain-akuma Villainous Claus* wielded, his abilities are similar to the villain Santa with Claws, he also gave people gifts with a "surprise", when he sang and threw gifts, he became irrevocable. LadyBug and Batgirl could no longer cope with this damned villain, they took refuge on the roof. From their hiding place, they could see Akuma heading towards the huge shopping center. LadyBug knew they couldn't do it together. She took out the box containing the talisman from the yo-yo.

\- Batgirl, find an ally to help us deal with this villain, can I rely on you? - Ladybug asked firmly, handing her the box.

\- I know the perfect candidate for this role! - Batgirl exclaimed, - you can rely on me.

And she ran off in a direction known only to herself.

_**"Bat Cave"** _

Barbara did not find this candidate on the spot.

 _\- Maybe in the JL, on business, ran away?_ \- she thinks, leaving the box on the table, she wrote him a note, where he should hurry, not forgetting to mention the box, and ran away to save Ladybug from the villain. They just missed each other, but Batgirl left, and Batman came to the cave. Disguised as Bruce Wayne, he went to the bat computer to check that nothing dangerous had happened while he was out of town. He noticed the box. His curiosity got the better of his sense of self-preservation and anxiety or paranoia. He took it and opened it, and out of it emerged a small black kitten. He looked so cute until he opened his mouth.

\- MEEEEEEEEOW! - he yawned. - HOW HUNGRY I AM! WHERE IS MY CHEESE??!!!WHERE'S MY CAMEMBERT, YOU BASTARDS?!! Turning around, he looked at a slightly freaked-out guy about 25 years old.

\- Oh, so you're the new but temporary owner that Batgirl was talking about? I am Plagg, the kwami who gives the power of destruction, in order to reincarnate say "Plagg, claws out!" to destroy something "Cataclysm". Ladybug and Batgirl need help, after you reincarnate, read the note from this badass, where you need to go, but before you do, FEED ME! The CAMEMBERT! - he last one, Plagg shouted.

Fucked up Bruce ran to the kitchen and found a small wheel of cheese, got his Plagg, the kitty is determined, the smell, the food of the gods, and for a moment it was propulsor. Having eaten, the satisfied cat said: - And finally, after you win, you will return the Miraculous, Ladybug, we can trust you, can't we?" Mind you cheat, you'll find out how the dinosaurs really died out! Terrified, Bruce put on the ring after all, and said the right words.

-x-x-x-

Meanwhile, the Lady and Batgirl were running out of strength and patience(Ladybug).

\- Batgirl, how soon will this candidate of yours come and help us? I swear by my supernatural posters, I'll throw you off the bridge on my yo-yo if he doesn't come. But help has already arrived. Cat-hero used his baton to fight off the villain's gift.

\- Hey, Santa Claus, why do you throw gifts to girls? - he asked sarcastically, - do you have a gift for me?

The girls themselves turned around and saw the Playboy cover come to life. He reminded her somewhat of her former partner, the same bell, the same ears, the same disheveled hair, but his eyes.... natural blue.

\- Batgirl, where did you get it? What is it? - she asked her heroine friend. The friend herself could not say a word.

\- I'M NOT SANTA CLAUS!I AM THE VILLAINOUS CLAUS, THE PATHETIC POMPOM WITH EARS!!! - the villain shouted, and threw a gift at him, but the Cat gracefully dodged, and landed next to the heroine girls. - I'LL RUIN EVERYONE'S CHRISTMAS! Catman turned and winked at the girls. Batgirl fainted, but her friend seems to have woken up.

\- A Сat, an akuma in a hat, - she shouted

\- Call me Catman, honey-bug, - he winked again.

\- I'M A LADYBUG, YOU BIG-EARED MORON! - Tomatobug shouted, realizing that the black cat's Miraculous had a strong effect on the bearer and his character, and that she was now shouting at him as her former partner. After rousing their friend from her fainting state, they had already attacked the villain.

Using his Batman technique, and a smoke bomb, he managed to steal the villain's hat, LadyBug shouted at him to apply cataclysm to it, and he did so. The cap turned black and crumbled, and a butterfly flew out of it. Ladybug, instantly caught it and cleaned it. She restored everything that the villain managed to do. Akuma was a man who was fired from his favorite job.

\- Pound it! - they said, knocking their fists together.

_**In the alley...** _

\- Thank you so much, Catman, for helping me fight the shark, - Ladybug said, smiling sweetly. One particular cat went to the roof.

\- Yes, you're welcome, honey-bug call me if you need me, - he said, smiling in all 32 teeth and the Lady blushed.

\- Catman, you will now return Miraculous to me, - said Ladybug.

\- Yes, I understand - he said, - Plagg, claws in.

LadyBug hid her surprise, this guy she saw everywhere in this city, and he seemed to her, a party boy and a blockhead, but today he showed himself on the other side.

\- You know, Batgirl was right when she said she knew the perfect candidate to be an ally, - Ladybug said, - don't worry, this secret will die with me.

\- Thank you, - he said, and handed it back to her.

\- Bug out! - Ladybug shouted, and flew away in her yo-yo. The young man himself left in a direction known only to him.

!!!Bonus№1!!!

LadyBug returned to her apartment, reincarnated she fell into a beautiful chair-transformer, Tikki flew away on a prepared plate with cookies, and from a miracle-box disguised as a vase, a black kitten named Plagg flew out, with a very happy face.

\- Plagg, your favorite cheese is in the refrigerator, - Mari said wearily.

\- This, I know, Pigtails, I had the idea that this guy you will meet again, when I was in the mode, he saw you, wanted to show off, and when you yelled at him, he experienced such a heat, just "Love shock", feeee!!! 😾 😾 🤢

\- Oh, you, you don't think anything of romance, - Mari sighed, and then her phone vibrated. Marie started. When she picked it up, she saw that she had received an SMS from a VERY familiar number.

_Honey-bug, do you want to celebrate Christmas with me on December 31 at 19: 00? BW 😻 🦇_

Smiling nervously, she closed her eyes, then raised her head and screamed at the top of her voice.

DAMN CAT !!!

!!! Bonus №2 !!!

Meanwhile, in the Wayne Menor, a very handsome dark-haired man with shining blue eyes was sitting on a fashionable orange sofa, and any outsider would say that the young man had fallen in love, although this young man would not even deny it, because one cute and tiny bug had taken up residence in his head. The guy himself was reading a fresh newspaper and waiting for a response to a text message sent 15 minutes ago.  
Meanwhile, Alfred was dusting the fireplace, over which hung a huge group portrait of a happy family: a man, a woman, and their young son. He saw his adopted son shine like a polished samovar, the last time he was so happy, he was seven years old, he told him and his parents that he had fallen in love with a girl from his class. But after the death of his parents, the boy stopped glowing, as if he had been extinguished.

The old world at heart began to return with the appearance of a certain designer girl from Paris, who moved to Gotham to build her fashion empire. They met in his hometown of Bruce. She came to them to take measurements. But to order a suit from her or something else, you need a recommendation. Bruce was recommended to him by his high school friend, rock and roll star and self-proclaimed MDC uncle Jagged Stone.  
When she appeared on the doorstep of his estate, the thought occurred to him: "Not many angels have come down from heaven." When she took her measurements, he couldn't take his eyes off her. Even when she left, she was smiling sweetly. The arrow hit him in the heart. The second time they met was when the city was attacked by Akuma, and he met a mysterious creature, a Kwami named Plagg.

Yes, this kwami is something with something. Once transformed, he went to the aid of a certain LadyBag and Batgirl. He saw that the girls were being showered with gifts by an evil Santa Claus in a purple suit. Jumping down, he looked at the girls, Barbara he knew, but in the second girl he immediately recognized Marinette. And as he later realized, his talisman knocked out of him all the conscience, intelligence, secrecy and intractability of Batman completely. After the victory, he returned the talisman to her, she smiled at him, with such a familiar smile, flew away, he came back and realized that he had to invite her somewhere, Christmas was coming soon, he rather typed her an SMS, corrected it n-times, but still sent it.  
From the memory, he was pulled out by a vibration in his pocket, taking out his smartphone, he began to read the answer:

_SILLYYYY CATTT !!!_   
_Of course, I can't refuse your offer to spend Christmas with you and Alfred))) MDC🐞🐭😘_

After reading the answer, he closed his eyes and smiled.

_**Yes, next year promises to be interesting** _

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think Bruce Wayne would look like in the 2004 animated series, in a Cat Noir costume😼🦇? In my head, he naturally blended into the image


End file.
